Most Vulnerable

     We used to talk a lot, last summer. I had the biggest crush on this kid.. I was crazy about him. And he liked me, too. But once he asked for a picture, I freaked and he thought I didn't like him anymore and took off. He came back this last February. We've been talking for five or six months now.. and we're close, that's for sure. But he has a girlfriend.. how awful is that? I'm falling for a guy with a girl.. Am I really that low? I mean sure, it's feelings from the past. Feelings that I didn't know were still there til these last few months.. and I wish I could act on them. But hurting her? I don't know this girl.. I've never met her in my life. But she's a person, for goodness sakes. I couldn't do that to her.. 

     I feel like I'm all over the place. I wonder if he'll end up coming to me sometime. I wonder if I'm who he wants, and he doesn't know it yet. I wonder if he'd leave me for someone else like I hope he'd leave her for me.. Does that make me a bad person for wanting that? For wanting him, even if it means he's leaving her? Oh goodness.. What am I doing?

     I know I care about him, and I'm not doing anything wrong, right? I'm talking to him. If anyone's wrong, it's him, right?? Because he has her there, and says he's kind of falling for me.. what does that mean? I feel so lost..

     I'm so lost...